Herbal Soaks

Lately I've been trying some different herbal baths and soaks. So far I've done a Green Tea soak and a eucalyptus and rose bud soak. Both were very soothing.

Above is the green tea soak. This is good for anti-aging, anti-depression, and a detox for skin. It prevents acne and helps skin stay healthy.

Above is the rose bud and eucalyptus bath soak. This makes skin soft and also serves as a detox. 

3 AM

It’s 3 AM and I cannot sleep with the thought on my mind that you believe I do not love you like I used to. I am mean to you and you feel unloved and it is all my fault. I do not mean to act that way towards you and I always realize this too late. It makes me very sad because it made me realize that our relationship could end and that is not ok. I don’t want it to end. Of course I love you, of course I want you to be happy. I just don’t know. There is something wrong with me for me to treat you this way my darling and for that I am so sincerely sorry I am flawed because for you I want to be perfect.

Friday Night Relaxation

I feel really calm and grand right now and I wanted to share that with you. Try to visualize this and feel what I'm typing as best as you can.

You're in a loft. You're sober but you feel buzzed just from life. The overhead light is off but there are string lights strung all around the room. There are candles scattered across the room on different tables, and incense making the room feel warm and smell sweet. The lighting is dim and there is a record player. Its playing jazz by a Brazilian artist by the name of Antonio Carlos Jobim. The music makes you feel like dancing but at the same time it makes you want to lay down and close your eyes and float out the window across the city. 

Listen to the album and close your eyes. You'll feel great.

Christmas Eve

I figured since its Christmas Eve I should talk about that. I'll just tell you what happens on my Christmas Eve.

Christmas Eve is always slow. For some reason I always wake up early on Christmas Eve. Its always last minute shopping and night time Mass and we open one present. Today I went to Urban Outfitters with Hideo to get an outfit for mass and a few things for my sister. Hideo would kept trying to help me find something to wear but I'd get more annoyed and upset with every suggestion. I finally found something I liked but it was too short or too revealing or didn't fit me right. I settled on a grey mini skirt, a cropped black shirt and a floor length greenish-grey sweater with dark red tights. 

Then we looked around for gifts. I had to get my sister a gift and he had to get his dad a gift. This was very easy because everything was on sale so we could pretty much afford anything. We both got a set of peace and tranquility stones and he got a ouija board mint case also. It is a small gift but I think my sister will enjoy it. 

After shopping, we went to Back Yard Burger and then back to my house to get ready for mass. I went upstairs to my room and got dressed and while I was doing that I made Hideo figure out how to wrap the presents for his dad because apparently he'd never wrapped a present in the whole 18 years of his life. I cam back down and looked at the package. It was a mess, I ended up fixing it when he was busy with something else.

Finally everyone was ready for mass. Well physically. No one wanted to go except my mom. I'm not Christian any more, but my other siblings are. They just didn't want to go, but I don't blame them. We've just recently started going to church again. I think my mom feels guilty for all the years she hasn't gone or taken us. A lot has happened in our family recently so it probably has a lot to do with that. 

Mass wasn't long at all which was weird. Usually Christmas Eve mass is like three hours but it was only one hour at this church, which was nice.After church we got into our cars and left. Hideo, my fifteen year old sister, Kate, and I took a different car because my whole family couldn't fit in one car. There is six of us at my mom's house. I am the oldest at seventeen. Then there's Kate at fifteen, Son at ten, Jack at seven, and Claire at one and a half. Also my stepdad, Louis and my mom.

Back at the house we all opened our one present which was pajamas, and ate a roast that had been cooking all day. I felt bad because not everyone liked it and my mom was really excited about it. She tries really hard but she doesn't understand the problems my sister goes through and gets frustrated with her easily. She just wants her kids to be normal, I think. 

At about ten o'clock, my mom sent everyone upstairs to bed and Hideo home so Santa could come. Oh, that's another thing, my sister, Kate just found out Santa wasn't real tonight. She found out by telling our little brother he wasn't real and when my mom told her to be quiet she said "Wait, really?". She had no idea. She wasn't upset so its ok. 

Other Accounts

I just made several other accounts on different websites to promote my blog and have a more widespread audience. 

Twitter: 
https://twitter.com/anonymousegal

Tumblr:  
http://lifeofateenagegal.tumblr.com/

Instagram: 
http://instagram.com/anonymousteenagegal/

8tracks:
http://8tracks.com/anonymousteenagegal-83

Mazzy Star

MAzzy Star is one of my favorite artists. Her music is just something to relax to. Whenever I listen to it I lay on my bed and stare at my ceiling and just think for a while. Its nice calming music to relax you. Have a listen.


Here is "Fade Into you" my favorite song by her.

Here is "Seasons of Your Day" my favorite album of her's.

Coffee

Black Colombian coffee with Hershey kisses in it! Yum!

Late Night Poetry

Laying in bed, so much rushes through my head.

I think of my bipolar sister, my depressed father and my mother's lack of understanding towards it all. 

I remember when my parents were together, before middle school.

I love the feeling of the fan on my bare skin.

Laying in bed so much rushes through my head.

I think of my confused little sister, my isolated stepbrother, and my aggressive step father.

I remember my mother's second wedding in my sixth grade year.

I miss the feeling of waking up on Saturday morning as a child. 

Laying in bed so much rushes through my head. 

I think of my lousy excuses for friends, my strict teachers, and my aggressive boyfriend.

I remember the day I entered high school, my freshman year.

I long for the feeling of being a child. 

Laying in bed so much rushes through my head.

I think of my unhelpful therapist, my angry mother, and my still depressed father.

I remember the day they found out I stopped eating.

I need the feeling of anything. 

Laying on the bathroom floor, nothing is there anymore. 

I forget about everyone.

I can't remember anything.

I need to-

Perks of Being a Wallflower

Now I know every stereotypical teenager loves this book, but hear me out. Its great, it goes through the life of a boy just entering high school who is just trying to figure everything out. Charlie, the main character, meets many interesting people and encounters difficult situations for the first time in his life. The book is easy to relate to and gives teenagers who are nervous about high school or friends or life something to relate to and to give them hope almost. The book teaches about love, life, friends, family, sex, drugs, everything that you're exposed to as you grow older. It makes you think "If Charlie got through this stuff then I definitely can." 

The book stands as a beacon of hope for wallflowers, people who had a rough childhood, been abused, had to deal with loose, had to go through difficult relationships, etc. This book is the life of a teenager. It is a guide for those who don't know what to do next. It teaches you to read and really read something not just do it because you have to but to understand it and get something out of it. It teaches you to hear things and dissect them and understand. The book is a guide to understanding. Understanding everything.  

clipping

Last night Hideo showed me this song called "Work Work" by clipping. He is a rapper and even if you think rap might not be your thing you should listen. I used to only listen to a few select genres but I learnt to have a more opened mind. It really shows you that there is so many different types of people and that you  could somehow be connected to those people just through a song.

Hideo

Something you should know about me is I have a boyfriend. He is eighteen and one of the best things that has ever happened to me. I am not going to use his real name but a fake name (I will do this for everyone I write about) his will be Hideo. 

I met him at a driver's education class the summer before last and we've been dating ever since. He is a great guy, really smart and funny. He's a senior and I'm a junior. This used to really freak me out. I used to think that because he would go to college a year before me he might not want a highschool girlfriend. But Hideo is not that kind of guy. He is the kind of guy who really thinks of things before acting on them. He would not just leave me because I'm a year behind him. That's silly. Any way we've been dating since August 2013. Almost a year and a half! 

I really believe we're going to make it and get married, but I don't really know. Anything could happen. I'm not saying that in a pessimistic way either. I'm saying it because I do believe I should not limit myself to thinking of only one future situation. I should prepare for anything. 

Soske

I adopted a kitten today, he is a grayish, black 6 week old tabby. I named him Soske after the little boy in the movie Ponyo.

Hello

I am a teenage girl, a junior in highschool and I wanna share my life with you. I'd like to use this blog as a public diary and share my thoughts, ideas, dreams, hopes all with you. I'll pretty much just post about my life, and music, books, or movies that mean something in some kind of way to me. I hope you choose to keep up with this blog. 

Thanks for reading.